“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically…Not only are we in the universe, the universe is in us.”—Neil deGrasse Tyson. Astrophysicist (via purplebuddhaproject)
i want a relationship but i want them to be like a friend to me, i dont want the relationship to be all about kissing, making out and sex i just wanna hang out with them, and go places, and just have fun wherever we go
This post is surreal because that is exactly how a healthy relationship should be yet we’re convinced this is a weird and unusual thing to ask of our partners.
“To dwell in the here and now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibly plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly grounded in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness and concentration. You can attain many insights by looking into the past. But you are still grounded in the present moment.”— Thích Nhất Hạnh (via purplebuddhaproject)
Do you ever catch yourself thinking rude things about someone or judging them and you’re like “hey stop that, that’s not nice don’t u do that”
Yes. And I think it means we need to spend less time with judgmental people, and/pr that we need to spend less time watching TV, listening to the radio, reading yourtube comments, etc. I think we need to avoid judgmental influences as much as we can. We tend to pick up the habits of those we spend time with, so it is important to spend time with people whose habits we actually want to develop more in ourselves.
“With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”—Wayne Dyer (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
How to heal from an abuse in your relationship? the anger, and most of all the fear, thank you
Hi sweetheart. <3
Wow this is potentially a big question and I’m not sure of the specifics of the abuse but I’ll see what comes up for me with a little contemplation, my friend.
The anger can be felt, witnessed, and allowed to move through you. Exercise some of it out and don’t allow it to sit in your body and marinate in it. There is nothing wrong with anger itself, but obviously it shouldn’t be acted on, nor is it good or healthy for it to be repressed. There is always something under anger, though… something more vulnerable that gets more to the core of what you are trying to grieve and let go of. What is that for you? Is it the fear? Fear of what? Is it the betrayal of your sacred space and the care someone was entrusted with when you entered into the relationship? Are you grieving the loss of safety or innocence? Are you in any way blaming yourself? Is there shame and anger then that it is arising within you as you question your own barometer for trust and openness? How does that vulnerable child that still lives in you feel? Is there a longing for nurturing and a hurt that is deep due to breaches of safety? In whatever way it occurs, abuse is energetically violating. Acknowledging that to yourself is important, but don’t allow yourself to be defined by it. Your spirit is very much whole.
There is a lot you could explore, love. Above are a few questions that would often be found significant for someone who has been through an abusive relationship, and there are more. You can write about them… Unearth the answers. Sit someplace quiet and write and go deeper inside yourself. Tell your pet all about it. Draw or write poetry or sing about it… Feel… Cry… let the lightbulb go on and allow yourself to smile because you are healing.
The fear is about safety, right? Whether it’s physical distance you need, or no communication with your ex, create those boundaries consciously so your feeling of being safe can allow you to breathe and find your own balance again. You will be able to trust again, love. Spend time with people who treat you well, including being your own good company. Nurture yourself, sweetheart. Exercise to help expel that emotional energy, eat well, and sleep. Laugh. Go to counseling. There are a million ways to nurture yourself. Be your own safety in the best of ways and the fear and the anger will dissipate and you will be able to take steps to trust and open with another.
So I was talking to my white conservative boss yesterday about racism and ableism in the media.
Me:Okay, Sherry, I'm white, right? I have no bias against white people due to my race. Make sense?
Me:Look at that news headline. Look at what they're saying about why this dude killed those people.
Her:He was mentally ill. I don't see where you're going.
Me:Ok, backtrack. Let's say a Muslim man kills 6 people and injures 13 in a shooting rampage, and leaves a 137 page manifesto explaining that it was because a girl turned him down when he was younger. Why do you think he did it?
Her:He's a terrorist who hates women.
Me:Right. Let's say a black man does the exact same thing. How does the media portray it?
Her:He's a woman-hating gangbanger or a thug...
Me:You're catching on. Now think back to every white boy in the past ten years that has shot up a school or a public place of some sort. What is it always blamed on?
Me:Exactly. And I would like to point out a couple final things there. First: this guy was going to therapy for years and had no diagnosis of mental illness. The closest we can get is that his family SUSPECTED he might be on the autism spectrum. Sherry, I'm autistic. My brother's autistic. I have several close friends who are autistic. None of us have ever shown a propensity for killing people. Secondly: mental illness doesn't discriminate based on race. You know what does?
“I was recently asked to give a talk on empathy for the Singapore Kindness Movement. And in preparation for it, I delved once again into the literature surrounding it, what would be most relevant and some interesting research to share. As I read, it brought back to mind a question that I had always asked myself: What’s the difference between empathy, sympathy and compassion? Are they variants of each other or is one deeper than the other? Here is my answer to this question. Sympathy is the heightened awareness of another person’s plight as something to be alleviated (Lauren, 2005). The emphasis here is awareness i.e. coming into the knowledge that there is another person’s whose situation is deserving of your attention and that there is some element of pain/suffering that that person is experiencing. From there, care and concern are shown towards that person. It typically sounds like this, ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ or ‘I hope you are coping well.’ Empathy is the attempt of one who is self aware to understand and even vicariously experience another person’s situation and emotional state (Baron-Cohen, 2006). Most people refer to this as ‘being in another person’s shoes’. Literal examples include wearing your other half’s shoes or a husband putting on a pregnancy suit to see how the wife’s mobility is affected carrying a baby. The emphasis here is experience i.e. being able to almost feel what the other person is going through. It typically sounds like this, ‘It sounds like you had a bad day at the office and you probably need a break’. Compassion is taken a step further, where a person feels empathy and then a desire to help alleviate the suffering of the other person. The emphasis here is on action i.e. wanting to help. Having compassion for another requires one to put the other person first, imagine what the person is going through, then consider ways in which to help the person feel better and cope. Karen Armstrong, author of 12 Steps to a More Compassionate Life, believes the fundamental principle of compassion is the golden rule: ‘Do unto others what you would want others to do unto you’. It typically sounds like this, ‘I can feel your pain and it must be so hard to go through this alone. Is there any way I can help?’ From the above, it appears that there 3 stages that correspond to the 3 concepts. Sympathy focuses on awareness;
Empathy focuses on experience; and Compassion focuses on action. In reflecting on the distinction between the 3 concepts, it has made me realize that acting with compassion requires us to always put the other person first. When you help someone who is distressed and wounded, you are giving a bit of yourself and focusing on the other. Buddha probably says it best - “Compassion is that which makes the heart of the good move at the pain of others. It crushes and destroys the pain of others; thus, it is called compassion. It is called compassion because it shelters and embraces the distressed. “”—Empathy, Sympathy, Compassion: what’s the diff? - Positive Education Reprinted for educational purposes (via livethemessage)
“Women don’t speak out against catcalling because they are “sanctimonious.” They speak out against it because it’s threatening and demeaning. Catcalling is terrifying specifically because it has the potential to turn into physical violence at any moment if the woman does the “wrong” thing. Writer Soraya Chemaly has documented just a few of these many news stories.
It’s disturbing that Lewak is so desperate for random men to approve of her appearance that she’s willing to take the risk that these interactions turn sour–not only that, but she’s willing to take that risk for all of us. She writes, “Oh, don’t go rolling those sanctimonious eyes at me, young women of Vassar: I may court catcalls, but I hold my head high. Enjoying male attention doesn’t make you a traitor to your gender.”
Most people who are attracted to men enjoy some sort of male attention, but not all of us enjoy it from any man, at any time, in any place. Kind of like I love pizza, but I don’t want people to shove pizza in my face every time I leave my apartment. Actually, I would probably start to kind of hate pizza if that happened, especially if trying to refuse the pizza led to slurs and threats of violence.”—No, I Will Not “Deal” With Street Harassment (via brutereason)
“The average prison sentence of men who kill their women partners is 2 to 6 years. Women who kill their male partners are sentenced on average to 15 years. This is despite the fact that 86% of female offenders kill in self-defense, while males are most likely to kill out of possessiveness (82%), abuse (75%) and during arguments (63%). Women are eight times more likely than men to be killed by an intimate partner.”—Fact Sheet on Battered Women in Prison (via femmephrodite)
“What If… What if our religion was each other? If our practice was our life? If prayer was our words? What if the Temple was the Earth? If forests were our church? If holy water—the rivers, lakes and oceans? What if meditation was our relationships? If the Teacher was life? If wisdom was self-knowledge? If love was the center of our being?”—Ganga White (via shaktilover)
“One of the students who held on to a “Trail of Tears” banner that went viral Saturday has issued an apology.
The sign was among many at ESPN’s College GameDay show in Fort Worth, Texas, where OSU played No. 1 Florida State.
The sign, posted in a photo on Instagram, which read “SEND ‘EM HOME #TRAIL_OF_TEARS #GOPOKES.” ”—
“One of the huge cultural problems we have is we don’t delineate between sexuality, which is normal and healthy and unfolds over the life cycles, and sexualization, or the hypersexualization of our girls.”—
“Feminists and intellectuals were the greatest threat to the church of my youth, or so I was told directly and indirectly in sooo many ways. The LDS message to young women was… Stay stupid but get a degree so we can say you are smart. Accept inferiority but praise and embrace it so we can say it is justified. And whatever you do, deny your individual value independent of marriage to a priesthood holder so that without him, you will feel worthless. This way, we can say that of your own free will, Mormonism completes you.”—
“There’s a reason you separate military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state. The other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people.”—
That quote comes from Battlestar Galactica’s Commander Adama. He says it in the second episode of the first season of the series, “Water”, written by Ron Moore. That episode is 10 years old. (via the-goddamazon)
The prophecy in scifi is sometimes disturbing, is it not?